The Comeback (episode)

"The Comeback" is the first episode of the first season and thereby the series premiere of The Comeback.

Summary
Valerie wants a role in a new sitcom pilot called "Room and Bored", about four hip singles living in a condo, but can only get it if she allows cameras to follow her for a reality show. She lands the part but soon discovers that it's not the one she was expecting.

Full Summary
Valerie Cherish welcomes the viewers to her comeback, but she's distracted by the movement of the camera. Producer Jane tells her to keep going. Valerie realizes there are stationary cameras, so it's normal for the camera to move. She welcomes the viewers again as Esperanza, the housekeeper, enters the kitchen. She freezes as she sees the cameras. Valerie reminds her they talked about this and tells her to act as if the cameras aren't there. Jane assures Valerie they won't use all of the footage and ducks out of the camera's way as it follows Esperanza around the kitchen. Esperanza can't quite focus, so Valerie takes over stocking Diet Cokes in the fridge. She promises Esperanza will loosen up. She proposes they start all over again.

The camera crew is set up in Valerie's home office. She's waiting outside for the okay to come in. She comes in and shows off her wall with accolades and pictures. She proudly presents her PCA for her work on the sitcom I'm It. There's also a picture of her appearance on the Jay Leno show. A monkey got on her head and it pooped, which Valerie describes as a real watercooler moment. It's a classic. Valerie's husband Mark then enters to grab his stuff from the desk before leaving for work. He wishes his wife good luck on her audition. As he's on his way out, he informs her there's water outside the powder room. She has to call a plumber. She tries to hide away from the cameras as she tells him she doesn't have the time to wait for a plumber. Neithe does he, as he has work and he has to pick up his daughter. He suggests turning the water off, but she needs water to get ready for her audition. Mark leaves. Valerie does the time out gesture and says they can't use this. Jane says she can stop doing that because they just edit out whatever they don't need. The doorbell rings. It's Mickey.

Valerie opens the door for her flamboyant hairdresser Mickey Deane. Valerie introduces him to the crew as he enters the house. Mickey was her hairdresser on I'm It, which he remembers fondly. Whenever she has a big event, Mickey comes over. Esperanza comes over and brings up the water on the floor. Valerie instructs her to call Mark because she needs to do her hair for the network test. She and Mickey go upstairs. The camera pans to Jane, who makes a face, and then to Esperanza, who's peeking from behind a door.

Valerie and Mickey are on their way to the audition. It's for a sitcom called Room and Bored. It's about four hip singles living together in a condo. Valerie then expresses concern that the current camera angle is too low. Jane dismisses her concern. Mickey asks about her character on the show. She's auditioning for Laney, one of the four singles. She's the smart, slightly older architect. Mickey hopes she gets the show, because he's two years from retiring and he needs the help benefits since they found two more questionable melanomas.

The group enters the building. As Valerie goes to the desk, Mickey recognizes two other actresses: Marilu Henner and Kim Fields. Valerie joins the other two actresses and confirms they are here for the same audition. Marilu heard from her agent that whoever gets the part has to do the reality show. Valerie thought the cameras were just for her. She asks Sharon, the casting director, but she doesn't know. Kim says The Comeback is just for whoever gets the part, and they'll dump all the footage of the other two. She thinks the reality show is desperate. Valerie clearly thinks otherwise. She has more issues with The Comeback as a title, because they didn't go anywhere. Marilu says she and Kim decided not to let their crews film now as a courtesy to one another. Valerie tells her crew to just shoot her, but they don't listen to her. Marilu shows her middle finger, knowing they'll never use that on television. Kim joins her. Valerie then walks off and asks everyone she sees for a private room, but they all ignore her. Mickey follows her around.

Sharon finds Valerie, who explains the atmosphere was too bad to be around for an audition. Reality TV is the reality of TV, so it's not desperate. Sharon interrupts her because she has Valerie's agent on the phone. The agent is calling about the contract, but Valerie has just signed it, so the money is what the money is. The others have all lowered their price. Valerie turns away from Sharon and tells her agent she doubts the other two are even gonna read because they don't seem into it. Her agent has her change the number in the contract. As soon as the phone call's done, Sharon says they are ready for her. Before entering the room, Sharon says the executives don't want the cameras in the room. They don't care about the reality show. Valerie enters and compliments the executives' idea to do both shows at the same time. The door is then closed.

"Well, I got it," Valerie says. Jane asks her to do it again. She wants her to be more excited. Valerie does so, but Jane is still not feeling it. Since they didn't let them film the moment Valerie actually got the part, this needs to be the big moment. She says it again, but it's still not right. Valerie is annoyed. She doesn't want to look like an idiot. Jane asks for one more, bigger. Valerie says they need to talk, but Jane refuses to turn the cameras off. Valerie then says they are done with this part. She has a table read. She walks off and Mickey tails her. However, she returns with a very excited version of "I got it", although she hopes they don't use that. She needs to know that she's being heard. Jane says okay. Valerie thanks the crew and leaves.

Valerie's on her way to the first table read when she receives a call from Mark. They have water damage, for which Mark blames her. As she enters the studio, she begs Mark not to turn off the water until after she's shot the pilot. She says she has to go now and hangs up. Valerie says Mark sometimes doesn't get showbizz. She asks if Jane has a boyfriend, but Jane says this isn't about her. Valerie is distracted when she sees the condo set. She is greeted by the other three younger actresses: Juna Milken, Shayne Thomas, and Callabra. They are all very excited to work with Valerie, knowing her from her I'm It days. Valerie thinks they are in the wet T-shirt scene, but they clarify they are her roommates. Valerie sits down and asks Sharon about the other three girls, who were supposed to be in their 30s. Sharon says the network wanted younger girls. The cast is introduced to Paulie G. and Tom Peterman, the creators of Room and Bored. Everyone applauds for them.

As filmed by the stationary camera in the kitchen, Valerie is talking about the script to Mark. She reads him a line, "Note to self: after a long day at work, I don't want to see that", which he thinks is funny. She keeps practicing different ways to say the line as she eats a piece of chocolate cake.

Hours later, she returns to the fridge for another piece while still practicing the line.

The next day, the actors are rehearsing the scene. Juna and the other actresses are making out with boys as Valerie enters through the door. She delivers her line. Paulie G. doesn't like the line, saying it only works if Laney is the other girls' mother. They decide to move on. Valerie approaches director James Burrows, who tells her the writers have more writing to do. It's not on her, though. As the crew goes to prepare for the wet T-shirt contest scene, James tells Valerie's cameras not to follow him. As Valerie's pacing, the camera catches one writer questioning Valerie's character on the show. Valerie tells Jane this is a perfect opportunity to show how TV works. A line can be gone in a second if it doesn't get any laughs.

Over breakfast the next day, Juna says she heard they might fire someone. Valerie says pilot week is a pressure cooker. A crew member comes up to tell the cast it'll be another hour, and then tells Valerie that Tom and Paulie want to see her in the writing room right now. As she walks off, one of the young actors wonders how old Valerie is.

As she's on her way to the writing room, Jane asks Valerie how she's feeling. She tries to hide her anxiety and claims they probably just want to run a joke by her. She guesses they want to change the "blow", the last line of the scene that gets you out on a laugh. They arrive at the writers room. The crew goes in first so they can film her entrance. Jane asks the writers to wait until the cameras are set on Valerie. Paulie is not even trying to hide his displeasure. Tom says they are making some changes. No one was buying Laney living with the other girls, so now it's two young girls living with two young guys and Valerie will portray the aunt who lives upstairs. Aunt Sassy, Paulie says. She will be Cassie's aunt. Valerie is glad that Juna will not be fired. Tom says everyone thinks of Juna as a star, so of course she's not. Aunt Sassy owns the building. They also decided to drop the architect thing, because it's hard to write her character into scenes if she has a job, since they would need to explain why Aunt Sassy isn't working. Valerie is a bit taken aback and mentionsthat was not a problem on I'm It, but Paulie bluntly says this isn't a workplace comedy. Valerie is a bit disappointed, but she understands. She wants to know other things about the character, but all they have to offer is what they already told her. Since she owns some apartment buildings, Valerie would gladly offer some input if they want it. They barely react. She also wants them to know she's okay with dirty jokes. She thinks a dirty, sexy aunt is funny. Tom remains polite, but Paulie visibly dislikes Valerie. Valerie leaves the room and asks Jane if that room smelled like pot. The camera crew lingers to film a relieved Paulie and Tom until Jane asks them to come.

Valerie tells the cameras that it's a whole new show now. She claims it's all good.

Valerie is in for a fitting for the show. She's dressed in an old-fashioned running suit. Juna is dressed in a bikini and she loves Valerie's look. The costume designer is fond of Juna's outfit, which fits her perfectly. Juna takes off the bikini top, totally forgetting about the cameras. She goes to hide behind the curtain and asks Valerie if they're still going for lunch. Valerie wants to discuss the outfit so she tells Juna she'll meet them there. Valerie tells Peter she's supposed to be the sexy aunt, but he tells her the script now says running suit. Valerie is not satisfied and suggests another outfit. Peter asks if she has a juicy ass. Valerie is uncomfortable and tells Peter he's lucky he asked her and not one of those girls with self-image issues. She needs to know she's being heard. She wants him to take in the suit and make it more flattering. Peter agrees to that.

In her bathroom, Valerie films herself as she getting ready for bed. Tomorrow, they are shooting the pilot. She admits she's scared. She pretends it's about the other actors, since they have never done it before. She feels like she is carrying the show. Mark comes in and she tells him she's recording a personal video diary. As she talks about feeling pressure, he goes to the toilet in the background. Thinking she has turned the camera off, she asks him to close the door, but he's finished already. He goes to wash his hands and complains about the water pressure not being the same. It probably has to do with the leak. He comes up to her and tells her not to worry. He's sure she'll be great, as always. She tells him she loves him and he reciprocates. She promises she'll join him soon.

The cast is introduced to an applauding audience, with Valerie being the last. A proud Mark is sitting in the audience. The cast members wish each other good luck as the audience is promised a real treat. Mickey walks off with Valerie.

Juna and the other three young actors are doing their scene. It's the scene they rehearsed earlier. Aunt Sassy comes in and Valerie delivers her "I don't need to see that line", which has the audience burst into laughter this time. James Burrows calls cut. Valerie wants to do another take. She's missing the "after a long day at work" part to ramp up, but James tells her it was good. She begs for another take and has the audience cheering her on, so James has no choice but to allow it. Juna comes up and tells Valerie she's awesome. Valerie is her hero. Mickey comes on stage to adjust Valerie's hair.

After the taping, Jimmy is looking for Valerie. The cameras follow him as he interrupts her conversation with Mickey. He leads her backstage where there are no cameras, though Valerie's mic is still on. Meanwhile, the cameraman goes round back to film the conversation. Jimmy tells her that what she did with the audience wasn't good. She's getting in her own way. He wants this pilot to be better than I'm It because he wants this show to get picked up by the network. She has to trust his vision. She claims she's always better on the second or third take. They gave her lots of takes on It. He tells her she's not it anymore. She took a small part and hit it out of the park, and she can't ask for better than that. He wishes her a great couple of weeks and hopes to see her again when the show gets picked up. He walks off and the camera pans in on Valerie's face. She's visibly shaken and waits for a moment before opening the door Jane was leaning against. She uses her "I don't want to see that" line to break the palpable tension. She walks off and calls for a time out. Mickey helps her block the cameras.

Two weeks later, Valerie is on the phone with a worried Juna as she's driving. Valerie tells her to let go. She has another incoming call. She hopes it's about the show, but it's Esperanza complaining about the plumbers. They found a big leak and they need to get to the pipes to fix it. Valerie tells her to let them do that and hangs up the call despite Esperanza's objection. She returns to Juna, but she also has another incoming call. She promises to call right back and hangs up, just as Valerie says she'll hold. Jane has Valerie take her glasses off since the camera operator can see himself in the reflection. Mickey is working on Valerie's hair. She turns around to tell him not to and then drives into another car. Juna then calls back to say her call wasn't about the show. Valerie is shaken up as the angry driver comes up to yell at her. Valerie hangs up on Juna and apologizes to the man, who finds the cameras suspicious. He demands they turn it off, but Jane instructs the operator to keep going. Chaos ensues as another drives starts honking.

At home, Valerie refuses to listen to Esperanza as she needs her insurance information for the accident. nd finds her wall in the home office torn open. The plumbers put her pictures on wet carpet so they are all damaged. She examines her Jay Leno picture and finds only the matte's wet. She then gets a call from her agent. She fears for the worst, but she receives good news: they got picked up. She hangs up. This clearly brightens up her day. She even gets a bit emotional. She starts going through the rest of her photos. She then realizes she should call Mark. She leaves the room do so. She's surprised to find out he already knew, which baffles her. The camera lingers on the wet pictures while Valerie asks Mark to come home.

Main Cast

 * Lisa Kudrow as Valerie Cherish
 * Malin Akerman as Juna Milken
 * Robert Bagnell as Tom Peterman
 * Lance Barber as Paulie G.
 * Robert Michael Morris as Mickey Deane
 * Laura Silverman as Jane Benson
 * Damian Young as Mark Berman

Guest Starring

 * Kellan Lutz as Chris MacNess
 * Jason L. Olive as Jesse Wood
 * Kimberly Kevon Williams as Shayne Thomas

Featuring

 * Jim Bentley as
 * Bill Escudier as Milo
 * Kim Fields as Herself
 * Marla Garlin as Sharon
 * Nathan Lee Graham as Peter
 * Marilu Henner as Herself
 * Lillian Hurst as Esperanza
 * Andres Londono as Hank
 * Morann Peri as Callabra
 * Jonathan Stark as Angry Driver
 * Tom Virtue as Eddie

Music

 * "I'm A Survivor" - Destiny's Child

Notes and Trivia

 * This is the only episode so far of which the title doesn't start with Valerie.
 * "Ding dong Avon calling" is a reference to the 1956 Avon commercial.